Tuesday, June 19, 2007

As odd as wearing shoes

Okay, so I know that two posts in a row linking to stuff I've put up elsewhere is just plain lazy, but it's been a long day and I'm too tired to write.

People who don't read much poetry are always telling me how they've tried but just don't get it - how it seems nice and all, but very distant from their lives. Every time I hear this, one of the first poems that comes to mind is Gregory Corso's Marriage - reproduced here on Poi-tre. It's a hilarious and whimsical poem, but it's also a poem that manages (at least for me) to reflect so many of my own anxieties, quirks and experiences, so that reading it is like seeing myself in a comically distorted mirror.

These are the thoughts of all men contemplating marriage in all ages and lands. Enjoy.

18 comments:

Alok said...

you are contemplating marriage? horrors!

Falstaff said...

alok: No, no, not contemplating marriage. At least not with anything but horror. But Corso is - and his take on it is one I find I relate to.

Kits said...

Very nice it be :D

Anonymous said...

Nice! :D

I wonder if you could do another version, from the female point of view? :)

~N.

Anonymous said...

Great Idea, N!
Fal please do the female version.

Sunbeamz

Falstaff said...

kits: Thanks

N / Sunbeamz: errr...no. Aside from the fact that I would rather run a mile in tight shoes than try to match up to Corso, what makes you think I understand the female point of view on marriage?

Cheshire Cat said...

Wasn't the female point of view on marriage summed up accurately by Monica on "Friends"? Don't they spend all their spare time from the age of 5 dreaming of the perfect wedding?

The Black Mamba said...

catty remark there, cat.

even if all women were to start dreaming of their perfect weddings from age 5, that does not say anything about their views on marriage. now does it? And, am sure you know women do find love as odd as strutting in stilettos too!

if I may, here is something many tend to enjoy.

Space Bar said...

BM: Heh! cruising souls are totally incompatible with five-year-old wedding planners! Thanks for the pointer; much joy.

Falstaff said...

cat: Come now, I don't think that's true. Actually, in my experience what women spend their time dreaming about in every moment of their spare time after the age of 5 is the perfect pair of shoes.

My own take is that the big difference between the male and female take on marriage is that men spend more time obsessing about the institution and women spend more time obsessing about the guy. It's not so much "should I get married?" as it "should I get married to this guy?".

BM: Gorgeous, gorgeous link, thank you.

Cheshire Cat said...

Why so down with marriage anyway? I mean, someone to argue with 24/7 - what could be better? And here I am, forced to resort to the Internet, it's embarrassing...

Space Bar said...

men spend more time obsessing about the institution and women spend more time obsessing about the guy.

Erm. Speaking as One Who Knows, women in general learn from their mistakes more thoroughly than men do. Which is why you will find men falling into second and third marriages more recklessly than women. So much for men obsessing about the institution!

Disclaimer: since we're making large and very probably inaccurate generalisations here, I didn't want to be left out. Anything I say should be taken with generous doses of sodium chloride.

Falstaff said...

cat: True. But see, I like having control over when I'm arguing and what I'm arguing about. plus you never have to take the Internet clothes shopping.

space bar: Ah, but now we're talking about married people, who are a whole other species. I'm only discussing the point of view of single people contemplating first marriage.

Actually, your point about second / third marriages isn't inconsistent. If you spend your time before your first marriage locked in a brutal inner struggle about commitment, giving up your bachelor status, etc. and then end up marrying whoever you happen to be dating when the commitment coin finally drops, you're more likely to end up with the wrong person than if you spend all your time obsessing about whether the guy you're with is Mr. Right. The point is just that, in my experience, guys struggling with marriage are struggling with it in the abstract (do I want to be with one person for the rest of my life), while girls are struggling with it in the concrete (do I want to be with this person for the rest of my life).

Obviously, whole scale generalization happening, but it's not like anyone takes anything I say seriously anyway.

Anonymous said...

Ah, I seem to have missed an interesting discussion.

[If you spend your time before your first marriage locked in a brutal inner struggle about commitment,...then end up marrying whoever you happen to be dating when the commitment coin finally drops, you're more likely to end up with the wrong person than if you spend all your time obsessing about whether the guy you're with is Mr. Right.]

From what I've seen, that could be equally applicable to females as well. For in spite of all their obsessing about whether someone was Mr Right, a lot of women have ended up with the wrong person, because as you put it, the coin just happen to drop at that time.

I think that whenever (and to whomever) a person decides to commit, it should feel just right. If you have to think about it too much, then just let it go. As they say, when in doubt, don't.

~N.

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