Monday, July 18, 2005

The hole truth

Have you ever wondered what the deal is with bagel sandwiches?*

I mean why would someone go to all the trouble of making a one-inch hole in a perfectly respectable piece of bread (and rounding it off along the edges) if all they were going to do was use it to make a sandwich with a square slice of cheese and a flat, square meat patty of some sort? Didn't someone tell these people that the round peg, square hole problem works the other way around as well? Or is it just a way of making sure that the cheese has enough room to breathe (because otherwise they'd have a mob of angry protestors from the Society for Prevention of Unusual Cruelty to Dairy Products outside their door)? And if they really want to use bagels to make sandwiches (to use up old stock or whatever), why not just get the cheese companies to make ring-shaped slices and the poultry farms to grow circular chickens? That way in a couple of hundred years or so we wouldn't need our two front teeth at all (they'd have nothing to bite down on) and evolution could take its course.

Personally I think the guys who designed the bagel sandwich are the same guys who designed the Death Star - you know, the ones who always leave a neat little opening that goes straight to the heart of the ship's reactor so that enemy fighters don't actually have to bother with all that heavy armour.

*I'm not entirely sure how mainstream bagel sandwiches actually are - though I know of at least two places around my school that serve them. In case you haven't ever eaten a bagel sandwich, it's basically a sandwich made with a bagel (you'd never have guessed would you?).

No comments: