Monday, February 05, 2007

Sticking to your gums

Did you know that chapsticks have no adhesive properties whatsoever? No, really, none.

So there I am with an envelope to gum and what I think is a gluestick in my hand and I'm applying coat after coat of the stuff to the flap and wondering why the damn thing won't stick even though by this point the paper is all greasy with it. And then a faint hint of aloe mixed with vanilla makes me realise that it's a chapstick I've got hold of.

You know how when one was growing up there were all these kids who thought it was really clever to write 'Open With A Smile' on the flap of the envelope. Usually with the I in the smile converted into a little smiley? Well, this one's now Open with an extremely well-moisturised smile. Gah!

I guess it could have been worse. I could have ended up gumming my lips together. [1]

[1] Many people would claim, of course, that this would be an improvement.

13 comments:

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

You know how when one was growing up there were all these kids who thought it was really clever to write 'Open With A Smile' on the flap of the envelope

lol! I had forgotten about that. I am tempted to do that on all my job applications now. :)

Tabula Rasa said...

please complete the story and tell us what envelope it was that you were about to mail out with a lingering trace of an exotic aloe-vanilla perfume?

Patrix said...

I guess it could have been worse. I could have ended up gumming my lips together.

That I have done. Footnote and all.

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

ok Let me be the first to confess...I had no idea what a "chapstick" was till I read this..here in India we just call it "lip balm" :p :)

Anyway What were you doing using a "chapstick" with an aloe-vanilla perfume?? On the other dont really explain...

As long as you dont end up gumming your fingers which would prevent you from typing I really dont think we care that much about your aloe-vanilla perfume lips and mouth;);) I cant speak for the opposite sex ofcourse..:P

Szerelem said...

Muahahaz...I used to always write Open With A Smile on envelopes. I still do, sometime. Right, I am inviting scorn am I not?

Chevalier said...

THAT's why they tell us to organize ourselves and put stationery separate from grooming products.
Plus, chapstick typically comes in small-sized tubes and glue sticks are thicker and longer. Good for the girl/guy you will be with; you seem to be size-blind.

The One said...

Lips sealing shut...I could try that on a few people.

Btw - I picked up Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman after reading your review, and now I am hooked on Murakami...he really is awesome!

Revealed said...

Heh! What were they thinking? Chapstick that isn't adhesive?? What is the world coming to?? Pshaw, Bah and all that.

km said...

*Real* men use pig-lard, not chapsticks. Hmph.

Falstaff said...

girl from ipanema: Errr...I wouldn't. Really.

TR: Nothing interesting, I'm afraid. Just your average mail-in rebateform.

Patrix: Ah, well.

Man who wasn't there: I know, I know. In my defense, it was a choice between aloe-vanilla or cherry. I think I chose the lesser of the two evils.

szerelem: You are. But I suppose some youthful follies can be forgiven.

chevalier: True. But, after all, it's not size that matters, it's what you can do with it.

the one: You're welcome.

revealed: Yes. And then we claim to live in a *civilised* world

km: Ah, but I've never claimed to be a real man. In fact, wasn't it just a month ago that I was clearly stating (based on my inability to carry 80 kg suitcases) that I wasn't one?

Swathi said...

chapsticks n gluesticks can be used interchangeably on some ppl :)

Aishwarya said...

What, there were no ultra-manly smells?

(I'm trying hard to think of a manly chapstick smell)

I use a lovely vanilla lip balm myself. It is a good smell, and far superior to *shudder* cherry.

bess said...

I caught my little girl doing the same thing recently. I thought her so clever!