Post of Perfect Propriety

[Poetry Request # 17]

Oh I should like to be a novelist
Writing many a thousand page,
Capturing frailty, emotion, plot twists
And the spirit of the age.
I'd like to be a fearless journo
Writing exposes on crime;
Or compose a second Inferno
In effortless terza rime.

I should like to be hyped by the media
Be famous and widely read
Have my own entry on Wikipedia
And a fatwa on my head;
Publish one book, or two at the most
But make every word ring true -
But all I do is write little posts
As little bloggers do.

I should like to be a philosopher,
And dabble in metaphysics,
Unintelligible to book shoppers
But beloved of academics;
Write books that are ever so serious
Full of footnotes and other fuss
Titles Latin and oh so imperious
Like Tractatus Ordinaricus.

Or to write about exotic places
Like isles where they grow copra
Travel cities and wide open spaces
To end up on Oprah;
To journey to happening hotspots,
Give readings from coast to coast -
But all I do is visit Blogspot
and post my little posts.

Give autographs to pretty young things
Who'd think they'd gone to heaven;
Write the seminal text about suffering
In literature post 9/11.
Write something bildungsroman-y
Portrait of Artist as Young Porker
Get rave reviews from Ms. Kakutani
And a chapter in the New Yorker.

It would leave tears in the reader's eyes
And be quoted much like scripture
Labeled "Bestseller", "Booker Prize"
and "Now a major motion picture".
I'd be the greatest! (not to boast)
I'd be the new William Faulkner! -
But all I do is post little posts
And even that I could do oftener.

(See the original here)

P.S. I'm going to be traveling the next few days, so will only be posting after the weekend.