Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --
Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
And whether pigs have wings.
Falsie uncle*: The problem with your campaign for creating angst-ridden, manic depressive, poetic, suicidal misfits is that there are monsters in this world who would happily read your baby ideas and put them into action. So if I turn out to be another angst-ridden, manic depressive etc. misfit when I get to the outside world, you shall be morally responsible for it. (How does it feel to be Bush? Or Rumsfeld?)*I am happy with Clown uncle myself but Space Bar aunty insisted that I call you Falsie uncle. I always listen to Space Bar aunty as one day she will save me from the monsters.
insider: Huh? What angst-ridden, manic depressive, poetic suicidal misfits are you talking about? a-r, md, p and s misfits are way too self-aware to have children. And when you consider that most children are selfish, manipulative, sadistic and incapable of introspection, I'm quite happy to be morally responsible for helping one turn out angst-ridden, etc. That's how it feels to be Sartre.
Falsie uncle: Oh, I was talking about your insidious plan to make innocent monster-parents torture children so that kids grow up to be like you, i.e., a-r, md, p and s. Selfish, manipulative, sadistic are not traits exclusive to kids, neither are they not seen in people who are a-r, md, p and s. (not that I have a big sample space but still.) for instance, are you really claiming you are not sadistic? right.see, here is my problem. even without your help, the she-monster (who houses me) jumped up and down a few times before a scan so that they could get a picture of me crying my heart out. now that you are giving her more ideas, do you realise what this means for my existence?And now, i shall go find Sartre uncle. Perhaps he can tell me more about the essence of my existence.
insider: You know, one of these days you're going to have an epiphany and realize you've got this all wrong. Parents are not the monsters. You are. Nothing they could do to you will ever compare to the unspeakable havoc you're going to wreak on their lives.
oh em gee! the sight of falsie talking to unborn spawn! my weekend is made.
Please continue this comment thread, Insider (and Falstaff) :)
Awesome baby photos. How high do you think the ledge needs to be? And can you hold their noses so they are crying and flailing and gasping for breath at the same time? Details, details!! And Uncle Falsie? Sounds like the cuddly bear my daughter has that spews out phrases like "You're a little SMILE MAKER" and "Have a RAINBOW day!"n!
KM uncle: I was going to continue thread until Falsie uncle resorted to personal attacks and called me a monster. I had decided I shall not talk to Falsie uncle again - however, it strikes me that that is exactly what he is hoping for and therefore, I shall not give in easily. I shall continue to comment on all related posts on this topic. Falsie uncle: It is not just my monsters. Please note how excited n! aunty is regarding the baby torture pictures. How much more blood are you going to have on your hands?
I'm sure Falstaff secretly loves babies.The only question is: rare or well-done?
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