It has been brought to my attention that some puny mortals still dare to question my destiny as the Eventual Overlord of the Entire World. These insolent vermin dare to make fun of me (of ME!!) claiming that I am too bookish, too much "the darling of librarians" to accomplish so prodigious a feat.
Let these wretches tremble in their pink backpacks, for the time has come to reveal my fell plan in all its dastardly magnificence. Unknown to the powers that be I have been secretly amassing an army of bespectacled librarians, sworn to be loyal to me, even unto their celestial due dates. With this great force behind me I shall go forth and glower the world into submission. Soon, the whole world shall be our library. Nuclear Weapons shall be stockpiled under the Dewey Decimal System, so only my Chosen Ones can find them. All currency will be put on reserve, lives will be stamped and checked out at will, laws will be subject to recall at any time and justice will be sent an overdue notice. People will be put back in their proper place or go missing forever. Anyone who dares to raise his voice against us will be shushed. Peace (or at any rate silence) will reign. There will be no political scandals because no one could possibly imagine doing anything remotely scandalous with a librarian. There will be no poverty or hunger because everyone will be forced to live in strict alphabetical order and no one will want to see someone who has the same first name as them starve to death. People with names starting in Z will end up in Siberia. There will be no violence because everyone will be entirely passive-aggressive, wars will consist of armies facing each other on the battlefield and shrugging their shoulders at each other. Space travel will develop because people will invest billions of dollars to build space ships to get to Mars, where the photocopying will be cheaper. Agents of the elite secret service (the MI5.OC543.KG821.2006) will torture Britney Spears to death by taking her into a sound proof reading room and reading Anna Karenina to her in a slow mournful voice. It will be a perfect world.
Bookworms of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your carrels.