Friday, October 28, 2005

I, Robot

Coming to work today, it occured to me that there are two kinds of people in the world - those whose work could easily be done by robots and those whose work couldn't. (well, okay, so there is a third set of people like me who do no work in the first place, but we're a dying breed).

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all the annoying and irrelevant people I have to meet every day - people who wait tables, work at check-out counters, sit at security desks, answer phone calls, clean offices, run countries - were to be replaced by machines in the next 50 years? I might actually start to believe in the human race again.

19 comments:

Heh Heh said...

I use something called the imaginary incinerator button. It's a device the size of a TV remote. When ever I see annoying people, I point it at them and go 'click'. They self- combust with a whooosh, leaving behind only their smoking shoes.
Unfortunately the battery's out, so nothing happens when I *actually* use it. I then hit it on my other palm >thwack thwack<. I point and try clicking again.
I did this to a particularly annoying couple in the elevator today. They were most puzzled.

Falstaff said...

HWSNBF: :-). Nice. Once again, you make me feel good about my own (relative) sanity.

Falstaff said...

P.s. Does your imaginary button come with Slow Advance. Don't want annoying people to combust with a whoosh, would rather watch them melting away in slow agony till only their shoes were left - rather like that Witch in Wizard of Oz.

absolutely clueless said...

sigh! this reminds me of the GROTESQUE session the 2 of u had with ur "y-did-she-put-the-baby-in-the-mixer" and "how-long-shd-i-leave-the-baby-in-the-oven" jokes...
u know, Fastaff, u shd post that series...once i got used 2 the fact that u guys r mentally ill and beyond redressal, it was quite funny :)!

Falstaff said...

Clueless: No, no, those sessions were really grotesque. All those horrible things we did to babies (I seem to remember something about flambe-ing). It makes me shudder just to think of it.what were we thinking?

The right way to eat babies, of course, is raw - their tender flesh cut into delicate filets with some wasabi on the side.

absolutely clueless said...

EEEEUYUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Heh Heh said...

"Mummy mummy, why do i keep walking around in circles?"
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the ground.

The Black Mamba said...

For all you know, the people waiting tables and cleaning offices might actually be some variant of Tyler Durden ;) Something needs to pay for all the madness, you know.

And no, its not a far-fetched idea. I know people,(co-drones who punch keys all day) who actually run fightclubs and occasionally have injuries from "falling down the stairs"

meditativerose said...

I remember the time I concluded I was sane because I wasn't the only one talking to myself ... you both and V did as well, so I must be fine ... ah, the follies of youth!!

The Soliloquist said...

Jus wishful thinking.. what if everyone pointed the incinerator button on themselves... there wudnt be any ppl left to be annoying right??... Aaah.. that wud b heaven on earth... Reason rules, folks!

Falstaff said...

HWSNBF: So, when are you writing the book on parenting?

Black Mamba: A world full of people who look like Brad Pitt? Oooh! Now there's a situation where I could live with getting my ass whipped on a regular basis.

MR: The fact that you talk to yourself doesn't prove you're insane. The fact that you talk to us may however.

Soliloquist: Ah, the return of the philosophers. Let it never be said that this blog shies away from asking the burning questions of our times

Heh Heh said...

Hey, MR, I never talk to myself!
I talk to the Others. The fact that the Others share the same body with me does not mean that we are the same.
*You* might talk to yourself. Don't accuse us of doing that.

Koi Pahailee said...

and how about someone wipes you off the world...
and these ppl continue to do what they do

God would have no one to complain sp harshly

absolutely clueless said...

so...i guess that means the baby jokes series isnt gonna make its way 2 blogosphere....HWSNBF, thx fr trying...Falstaff, snifffffffle, the moments gone...

Falstaff said...

Pahailee: You seem to suggest that God is somehow other than me. This is, of course, untrue. So yes, someone could wipe me out instead, but what would be the point of the universe then?

clueless: My apologies. I realise that the baby conversation you refer to was probably a deep and meaningful experience in your life, but for me (and I suspect for HWSNBF) it was just another one in a long series of drunken rants against the world. I would put it up if I could actually remember it, but I don't.

Heh Heh said...

The other problem with the baby jokes series is who the hell remembers stuff you say when you are sloshed?

DoZ said...

"I can't stand to wait in line long
So I built a new machine
It just measures up the distance
and then eliminates the folks between"
- "Some Fantastic" by Barenaked Ladies.
I thought that was the best suggestion anyone had for an ideal machine... I like HWSNBF's better. With Falstaff's Slow Advance feature, it'd be perfect...Optimist (or despo) that I am, I hope the blueprints were not designed during one of your drunken rants... Where can I get a working model?

Falstaff said...

HWSNBF: Zigackly. Ferpectly true. Wait, did I just say that?

Doz: If I could find a working model, do you think I'd be sitting around with a bunch of other losers getting drunk?

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