If there is a God, he must be a couch potato.
I mean, He watches over us, right? But with six billion of us, it's not like He's paying any real attention. So obviously, He channel surfs. He sits in front of His 29 foot plasma TV, a keg of beer by His side and pretzel crumbs in His beard, and flips from person to person, hoping to catch some of the naughty bits (it is cable, after all). He'll stare at each person for a split second, decide he / she is not worth watching, and move on. He's probably got His favourites though. He probably watches Fox News. He probably watches a lot of FRIENDS re-runs. He's the kind of person who would.
Or maybe He can watch all of us at once, but He needs to take bathroom breaks. In the old days, this used to be really frustrating for Him. He'd make a quick dash to the kitchen for a fresh batch of popcorn, and He'd come back to find that He'd missed something really exciting - like a plague or a pogrom. Which is why He finally decided to invest in a VCR . Now He tapes everything so He won't miss it. The only trouble is, since the world doesn't actually stop, He's always running behind on his world watching. Right now, for example, He's only got to 1996. That's why He doesn't listen to any prayers anymore - He's worried they'll ruin the suspense. The truth is He'd rather be watching baseball, but what to do - He's God, after all, He has responsibilities.
I wonder if God ever gets to person number 4,135,567,892 - the one He's been really wanting to watch - and finds that the %@#$! cable operator has replaced him / her with Sun TV?
If the soul was television programming, I suppose mine would be a commercial break.
 I know, I know, it should be a TiVo. But I'm betting God is old-fashioned.