When I fell in love with Paris Hilton

[Poetry Request # 16]

A sonnet in appreciation of Ms. Hilton, as requested, with dashes of Greek legend added to the mix. The sentiment entirely feigned, of course. Blond bimbettes do nothing for me.

The face that launched a thousand gossips
stares out at me from each tabloid -
those eyes, those breasts, that hair, those lips,
surrounded by Trojans, scattered and void.

And I, like some heartbroken Menelaus,
roaring in pain to find me omitted;
wishing my equipment was as big as horse
no sooner seen then swiftly admitted.

O to be pierced by fair cupid's arrow!
O to bear arms for such sweet caresses!
Drunk with such influence, stray from the narrow,
imprisoned forever among her tresses!

Alas! that this thought should quite undo me
That the Judgment of Paris lights not unto me.