I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is: remember the Oxford Book Store Contest? Well, as predicted, they rejected my entry outright (it didn't even make the shortlist). So much for my career as the next Raymond Carver. You can see the stories that did make it here. 
The good news is that this means that you, dear Reader, can now enjoy these stories from the privacy of your own domicile, since I'm no longer constrained from putting them up on my blog. The first one follows below. The second one should be up in a couple of days. Enjoy .
 I, in true great-artists-are-never-appreciated-and-besides-these-grapes-are-sour fashion, feel, of course, that my not winning the contest is a gross travesty. I'm planning a letter to James Meek on the subject of how prize juries are all wankers.
 Do me a favour. Spare me the "why did you send this one? Frankly, your other stories are so much better" line, will you. Please. I'm just not in the mood.