You're right, of course. It was stupid to think the whiskey would keep me honest. But it was either that or a relationship, and I've never been good at love.
For a while I had a rule about not drinking alone. Then I realized I was spending my evenings with people I didn't like, people I didn't even know enough to dislike, just so I could get a drink.
There are nights now when I don't even need a drink, when it's enough going to bed with a bottle in my arms, cradling it like a baby, feeling the glow of its promise against my chest.
I'm sorry, I know this is not making any sense. You should come back in the morning. It's easier to pretend when I'm sober.