Thursday, September 01, 2005
I'm depressed. I just discovered that yesterday was Blog Day and I missed it! All day I went about happy and cheerful, spreading light and cheer, little suspecting that an important day was passing me by. If I'd known it was Blog Day I would have been surly and uncommunicative. I would have snarled at people who went around trying to be nice and saying things like Happy Blog Day! I would have gone out of my way to emphasise how little Blog Day means to me. How it's a day like any other day and I don't know what the fuss is about. That it's all the egoism of people whose lives are so sordid that they have to invent occassions to celebrate. I would have posted something suitably negative and depressing to effectively deny the spirit of the whole thing.
Instead, out of sheer ignorance, I find that I've actually lived through Blog day without being even slightly scornful, without expressing contempt for even one person or idea. I feel like I've missed an important opportunity. I could try to make up for it now, visit a few blogs, leave a few nasty comments, but it's just not the same, is it? I can't be an anti-hero anymore, I can only be a nasty, pathetic and deeply screwed-up individual*. And that's something I can be any day of the week.
Why didn't someone warn me? Why didn't someone tell me that yesterday was not the day to be all sunny and joyful? It's not fair.
*That incidentally is the thing I feel most people don't get about Scrooge - Scrooge's denial of Christmas is not really a denial at all, it's an anti-celebration; in his own special way Scrooge is making just as big a deal of Christmas as anyone else.