Wednesday, September 14, 2005

You love me. You really love me.

Yes! I have finally achieved celebrity status. Well, kind of.

Was in the library today waiting in line to pick up a book (Ali Smith's The Accidental) that I'd requested and suddenly one of the librarians comes out waving a book at me and says "Here you go. I noticed you standing there and I remembered that we had a book for you, so I thought I'd just get it." I couldn't believe it! 23,000 students on campus, and this woman not only remembers my name, but actually knows that I have a book waiting to be picked up! (Okay, so the fact that I'm there some three times a week and that in the last one month I've requested some twelve novels may have something to do with it, but still). I know it's silly, but I was really chuffed up about it.

Of course, this also means that if this librarian should ever end up having a conversation with my department chair, I could be in serious trouble. The poor man (my chair) thinks I'm this incredibly diligent, hard-working guy - I think he's actually a little concerned that I might burn out. Somehow I suspect the fact that I watch twenty DVDs and read about eight novels every month may not go down too well.

Meanwhile, of course, the Falstaff flag flies high. At this rate, all I need is another hundred million people (give or take a few) and I'm on my way to being a national icon. I could be on the David Letterman show. People would point to me on the streets as "that guy who's always borrowing books". Who knows - when Wal-Mart finally succeeds in buying out the Federal Mint and they start printing notes in denominations you can actually use (like $4.79. With discount) they'll even put my face on a note. The sky is the limit. I could go down in history as that annoying guy who was always checking out more books than he could possibly read (kind of like Napoleon only with books, not countries). They'll make documentaries about my life with my mother remembering the first time (at age 5) that I ever issued a book out of a library, tears in her eyes.

World Domination, here I come.

P.S. Applications for the post of President of my Fan Club are open, btw. Applicants must have relevant experience in managing large volumes of fan traffic - if you've ever handled fan mail for Bono, for instance, you could probably cope.


Jabberwock said...

Would it burst your balloon to learn that all I had to do was call the publisher and ask them to send it across, to my home address? Muhahaha!

(Haven't got around to reading it though. Do put up a review when you're done.)

Falstaff said...

Aaargghhh! What is this? Make Falstaff feel bad week? First all these people with their sabbathals, now you with your home delivery. Sigh.

Just started reading it - looks really promising so far, though - the first ten pages were enough to get me hooked. Will put up review (when have I not?) when done.

Veena said...


Think of the bright side. Jabberwock will never have his face on a Walmart note!

Falstaff said...

Veena: You call that the BRIGHT side??

Veena said...

Hey, I wasn't the one having orgasms on my blog abt how Walmart will put me on a note and how I will be on the David Letterman show! You obviously crave for all that attention anyway.

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