Friday, March 24, 2006

Random memory # 328

Calcutta Airport. S, Heh heh and I are on our way back to campus after three days of extreme inebriation (masquerading as NBSM 2001 [1] - an inter b-school event held at IIM C, whose latest avatar can be seen here). As we sit there, waiting for our flight to board, the afternoon has the jaundiced haze of hangover.

S is reading the newspaper. This means, S being S, that he is skimming the newspaper for images of skimpily clad women (I can't say I blame him. It's the ToI. The half naked women are the most intelligent thing about it). He points to a half page picture of some swimsuit contest in New Zealand and says, "Don't these women feel cold, wearing nothing but their bikinis. I mean, it is January, you know". He tries to sound genuinely concerned.

Heh: "Ya, but it's New Zealand right."

S: "So?"

Heh: "So it's the Southern Hemisphere. It won't be cold there now."

S: "Ya right. Like just because they're the Southern Hemisphere they've going to have winter at a different time of the year."

Shocked silence. This man went to an IIT. This man just won a hard fought trivia quiz against a bunch of quizzers from the top business schools in the country (well, actually, we won it, but whatever). And no one's ever told him about the Southern Hemisphere?

S looks at us quizzically, wondering what he's said that's so wrong.

After we've got over our amazement, we try breaking it to him gently that yes, seasons do in fact reverse in the Southern Hemisphere. We explain about the tilt in the Earth's axis, it's revolution around the Sun, etc. S insists we're having him on. We point to the damning evidence of birds flying South in Winter (what does he think they're going there for? Skiiing?). But S has a counter to this. He knows that seasons down South are the same as everywhere else. You see, he's from Chennai, and they have winter in January. So there.[2]

[1] I'll say this for the folks at IIM Cal. They certainly know how to party. Any brief moments of sobriety I may have had in the three days I was there were my own fault entirely. Plus, as I've mentioned elsewhere, you had the luxury of being able to choose your drink, instead of having to rely on your local bootlegger and ending up with that finest of all gravels - Contessa Rum.

[2] In case you're wondering, S is now a successful executive - devoted husband, proud father, s(t)olid citizen. Whether he's figured out about the Earth going around the Sun yet is anyone's guess. We're hoping his children will break it to him gently.


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33 comments:

MockTurtle said...

Bleddy IIT / IIM types - they can solve Laplace problems with non-constant Dirichlet boundary conditions in their sleep but would refer log tables if you asked them to distiguish their heads from their arses.
- Ok, ok, I'm just jealous that I couldn't get in.
But then again, who would want to spend 4 years surrounded by pimply brahmin boys with freakish memory skills.
- Ok, that's just the jealousy talking again.
But, just so you know, I had more fun in my second rate Engineering college than you would have in a lifetime at IIT and I'm sure the whole IIT / Non-IIT factor evens out eventually anyhow.
- Fine, I'm just a jealous bastard, so there!

dazedandconfused said...

well well falstaff...I thought you were one of the older alumni. So are you saying that I may have actually seen you around in Joka winning quizzes et al?
S doesn't stand for Soni of Vikram Soni fame does it? I had met him when he had come down. But then he was from my humble BITS Pilani and not IIT. Plus, I think he knew his geography since he went to the B school in the west of the country while I headed in the other direction...

dazedandconfused said...

mockturtle: That 'pimply brahmin boys' bit almost touched a raw nerve there. If you are endowed with fair and flawless skin, I'm jealous of you!!

Priyanka said...

>> I had more fun in my second rate Engineering college than you would have in a lifetime at IIT


Ah. That's what you think.

Also I've seen enough BITS and REC boys with as much brain in their heads as in their arses, and weren't any fun with or without log tables.

So don't act like you're all supercool lol !!!!!

Anonymous said...

humourous...most of us would have known a S in our lives..reminds of the IIT days..

Falstaff said...

mockturtle: "I didn't mean to hurt you / I didn't mean to make you cry / I didn't mean to hurt you / You're just a jealous guy".

d&c: No, no, not that old. And no, S is not Vikram Soni.

anonymous: thanks. So, are you the same anonymous who didn't find my previous post funny enough? Or a different one? I'm sorry, there are just so many of you and you all look alike.

Anonymous said...

"(I can't say I blame him. It's the ToI. The half naked women are the most intelligent thing about it)."..

Good one abt the TOI... Didnt know TOI could inspire such wisdom..

Sure shows that knowledge doesnt have a one to one relation with the instituites one gets into...

R these memories chronicled now because this blog didnt exist back then???

Will the case of the book case be a memory as green as this??? Or must it be recorded to be remembered?

now this is the anonymous who was that anonymous who posted the anonymous comment in your previous post and is not anonymous enough to be confused with other anonymouses..

Phew!!!... so much for being anonymous..

Anonymous said...

Well...well...one mystery we have waiting to be unravelled..lets just say...the so called 'spirited defense' one.

Heh Heh said...

:)
nice thing to read first thing in the morning. don't know which is my favorite S story.. this one or the one which involves a very drunk S trying to serenade P with a tam song.

meditativerose said...

they think you're an engineer ... from IIT ... hahahahaha!!!

*picks self up from floor and wipes tears of laughter from eyes* sorry guys ... I guess it's apparent to everyone but Falstaff himself, that he has the personality of an engineer :)

meditativerose said...

who is S though?

didn't realise there were things about your batch I don't know ...

MockTurtle said...

@dzd&cnfsd
Rubbed a nerve? Sorry about that - but you have to admit there's more leaky noses, acne, soda-glasses and dandruff per head on an IIT campus than at a Trekkie meet.
@falstaff
Little young to be quoting Lennon at people, no? Couldn't find a Moby lyric to match your sentiment?
@priyanka
Ye of little faith. I graduated back in the days when college was all about sex (engineering college - so quantity, not quality), drugs (I guess Khoday's and the occasional joints qualify) and rock and roll (Ok, heavy metal - same difference)

Anonymous said...

S = Sumo, of course. which brings up another random memory about Sn**** debating about "I would rather Sumo wrestle, than wrestle Sumo" or something close to that in 2000. Trust Falstaff for coming up with such a topic...

dazedandconfused said...

meditative rose: nope, I know falstaff's blog well. there's a titbit about his grad college, i think in the post titled "I am a books man myself" or something like that?

mockturtle/priyanka: well, what can i say? Just the other day, a random girl online refused to chat with me after we shared each other's alma mater info. Sigh, the curse.

Alok said...

You from IIT? I am really surprised, what with all your literature and poetry posts...

IIM I can understand. You go there only when you are already kinda grown up and don't spend much time there anyway :-)

Sorry for displaying such curiosity in your biography!

Heh Heh said...

Alok:
I don't quite agree with your characterization of IITians as being unaware of literature/poetry
Full disclosure: I went to IIT.

clueless said...

hain???

Falstaff said...

Sigh!

Priyanka: Don't disagree with you about IITs vs. other engineering schools, but let's not get carried away. These are ENGINEERS we're talking about. Cool is not an adjective that could ever get applied to them.

Anonymous 2: Yes, I didn't have a blog back then - so figured would put this one up for old time's sake. The book case thing isn't about memory at all - it's more about sharing what happened in my day.

Anon 3: I'm all for defending spirits. Especially when you're thirsty.

Heh: Ya, that one. Can't do justice to that one with words, of course - you really had to be there.

MR: No, no. Nobody believes that. See d&c's comment. See alok's. See my reply to Priyanka. You're just miffed because everyone knows you're an engineer and now you want to drag me down to your level.

Mockturtle: Didn't you get the memo about Lennon being ageless? Also, Moby?!! Moby??!! Listen, coming from me, Lennon is bloody modern.

Anon 4?: Errr...you're right, of course. But who ARE you?

d&c: thanks. Though it's a little scary that you can quote parts of my blog that I don't even remember.

Alok: No, no, I'm not from an IIT. I'm not even an engineer. Though, in the interests of fairness, I have to say that some of the best read people I know are from IITs. So it's dangerous to make any assumptions based on that.

Falstaff said...

heh: thanks. I was just going to make that point, then I saw you'd already done it.

clueless: living up to your name again, I see. Talk about repressed memories.

Alok said...

some of the best read people I know are from IITs

thank god none of those people are my friends. !!

this is the excuse I generally give to myself when I feel illiterate and primitive after reading your posts (on your other blog specially) ;)

Cheshire Cat said...

Sumo, of quizzing fame... Interesting.

Loved that "S looks at us quizzically". Did you ever consider that he might have been kidding with you?

Heh Heh said...

@clueless
i remember too :)

Crp said...

Yeah, I to am surprised about Sumo the quizzer. He was most well known for the Periodic Table piece he used to sing for every elocution competition ... not as tuneful as Tom Lehrer but it used to be a laugh riot.

Falstaff said...

cat: he could have been, I suppose. The joke ended up being mostly on him, though, as I remember it, heh heh and I told everyone on campus the story, and Sumo spent the next two months having people make fun of him. Though of course, they would have done that anyway (Heh heh: remember the 1000 ways to insult Sumo a day thing?)

Cheshire Cat said...

Also, I agree with mockturtle and Alok.

Full disclosure: I went to IIT.

Ludwig said...

S=Sumo? The largish individual with the I <heart> NY T-shirt?

My word. This has got to be used on him. Suspect that very few people from his pre-IIM life know this nugget...

Old Spice said...

I live in New Zealand. It does get quite warm in January. Some of the beaches I walk along see women who take off their tops altogether (but unfortunately lie on their fronts). It's now March. I went for a walk on the same beaches. I didn't see anyone in a bikini.

Which competition was this, anyway? How come I didn't know about it?

Falstaff said...

ludwig: You're welcome. Just remember, you heard it here first.

Largish individual sounds like an accurate (if overly polite) description. Can't help you with the T-shirt though. Apparently, when Sumo found out about his IIM A admission, h celebrated by changing his clothes. Once.

Ludwig said...

> Can't help you with the
> T-shirt though.

Fellow wears this nowadays. It is his quizzing good luck charm, one believes. It provides succour to the unwashed mass, and keeps any competitors with their olfactory senses intact away from the competition. The raiment in question appears to be unwashed too, except for a close shave when it fell off the towel hanger and near a bar of Rin that happened to be handy.

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