I think I've finally figured out why Paris Hilton exists.
Think about it - she's rich, she's clueless, she has a surname everyone recognises, she'll do or say anything to stay in the public eye.
It's obvious, isn't it? Paris Hilton is going to be President of the United States of America.
Remember, you heard it here first 
Guilty Secret # 29:
It took me almost a year of seeing headlines with Paris Hilton in them before I realised that she was a person. I'd always assumed that Paris Hilton was a hotel. I'd keep seeing these banners saying Paris Hilton One Night Stand / Paris Hilton Sex  and I'd think to myself - damn! if I ever get to Paris I know where I'm staying.
 Sure, you laugh now, but remember Ronald Reagan?
 If you just came to this site by running a google search for Paris Hilton Sex, all I can say is: your life is even sadder than mine.