Friday, September 16, 2005

The Manner Borne

Met up with a friend yesterday who's just joined the MBA program here. It seems the MBAs have a special session at the beginning of the year on etiquette. This seemed harmless enough, and a good idea generally (specially given the number of international students) until he showed me the list of do's and don'ts that was distributed to them. Whoever compiled that list clearly believes that MBA students have spent all of their former lives pillaging villages on the steppes of Outer Mongolia. My favourites:

Do bring the waitstaff's attention to any foreign matter in your food. (Waiter! Waiter! There's a question of Iraqi policy in my soup!)

Do not put the knife in your mouth. (And while you're about it, try not to chew the glass)

Do not talk with your mouth open. (And chew! CHEW! How are you going to become big and strong otherwise?)

Do not eat your tablemate's bread or salad. (His / her main course, on the other hand, is fair game)

Do make use of the silverware made available at your table. (It's amazing how much you can get for some of that stuff in pawn shops)

I find it really, really hard to believe that anyone who managed to get into one of the country's top business schools wouldn't know this much (or could be stupid enough to put knives in his / her mouth[1]). I mean, look, I know there are important differences in etiquette between cultures, and I think it's useful for MBAs to be exposed to them (I'm thinking things like how to order wine, or how to deal with hotel check-ins), but I can't believe there are cultures out there where people eat each other's salads while chattering away through their open mouths. The way this etiquette session is set up, you would think they would start by explaining that here in the US you no longer have to hunt for your food - there are things called restaurants where you can BUY it.

Sheesh!

[1] Actually, I take that back - these are MBAs we're talking about. They'll do anything as long as they feel it could help them get a better job.

16 comments:

Heh Heh said...

also, regardless of the fact that we were MBAs once too, let me add that MBAs are stupid.. they are lesser human beings... and it requires a PhD to see why..
*pissed from teaching a review session*

Anonymous said...

yeah .. except we aren't MBAs as much as diploma holders ... and you still are - for the next 2 years or so ;)

Also, what if we can see why MBAs (being people after all) are stupid? Does that mean we deserve an honorary phd, i.e. one where we get the phd without doing much work?

oh wait ... never mind

Falstaff said...

HWSNBF: Totally agree with you. Just didn't think so dismissive a point was in keeping with the broad-minded and inclusive nature of this blog.

MR: Such arbit CP. You're an MBA all right.

Heh Heh said...

MR, that was arbit CP.. makes you sound like someone from Jamnalal Bajaj or ISB or some other such shady school. Certainly does not befit someone who went to IIMA.. how did they let you in there?

Falstaff said...

HWNSBF: Dude! I don't entirely disagree with you, but hello, you can't go around insulting all and sundry on my blog. That's my job. You want to insult people, get your own blog. :-).

Anonymous said...

Because of my charm and sex appeal. Of course, that wouldn't have worked at the esteemed insitutions you mentioned - too much competition with socialites from Bombay and wherever ;)

Also, what ... I would totally do a phd if someone agreed to pay my mortgage and buy me pretty things ... think I should follow Neela's model :)

Falstaff said...

MR: Charm and sex appeal? You mean throwing your weight around.

Also there you go confusing cause and effect again. In order to follow the Neela model (Neela- don't you feel honoured) you have to be smart enough to do a PhD in the first place.

HWSNBF, I think a word with the admissions committee is definitely in order. We can't let this sort of thing go on.

Falstaff said...

Clueless: In MR's defense - at least she can spell.

Anonymous said...

Clueless: Am drawing up shopping list ... looks like it's going to take a while ;)

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