Famous Poems Abbreviated

I'm back. Well, almost. Still trying to recover from 14 hour long flight back to the US, and catch up on six week's worth of spam, magazines and e-mail. While I get all that cleared up, though, here, from the Humour Issue of 'Peotry' is the always delightful X. J. Kennedy:

Famous Poems Abbreviated

1

Of man's first disobedience and its fruit
Scripture has told. No need to follow suit.

2

Once upon a midnight dreary,
Blue and lonesome, missed my dearie.
Would I find her? Any hope?
Quoth the raven six times, "Nope."

3

Whoosh! - hear the Sea of Faith's withdrawing roar?
So baby, let's make love tonight, not war.

5

Whose woods these are I think I know.
Shall I just sack out in the snow
And freeze? Naaaa, guess I'd better go.

- X. J. Kennedy

[yes, I skipped number 4]

Kennedy also contributes the incredible 'More foolish things remind me of you' - set to a tune that will be instantly recognisable to jazz lovers. An extract:

Theses on archetypes in rapster's lyrics,
Menus describing hash in panegyrics,
Cheap vases aping Mings -
Pretentious things
Remind me of you.
Loud slurping noises from the next apartment,
A critic's lecture on what Hitler's art meant,
Dead snakes the tomcat brings -
Disquieting things
Remind me of you.

Brilliant.

Also, from the same issue, don't miss Dean Young's take on Sean Penn and Billy Collins' take on Irish poetry.

P.S. The prize for inspired abbreviated versions goes, of course, to Wendy Cope, for her version of the Wasteland.



Categories: Humour, Poetry