Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Splog with a Blog

The first installment of posts requested by you (see here for details)

I have to admit that my familiarity with Dr. Seuss is fairly low, and what little I've read was a long time ago. I suspect this little piece has vocabulary that's a little advanced for young readers, but it's the best I could come up with. (I've also changed the title a bit just to make it more Seuss like.)

The Splog with a Blog

"It's a regular slog",
Said the Splog of his blog
"It's like keeping a cat
or a very big dog:
you have to remember
to feed it each day
whether the month is September
or April, or May,
and even if you find
you have nothing to say,
you can't lose your temper
or quibble, or be rude,
can't whine, can't whimper,
can't boast, can't brood
can't prance or simper
or spew platitudes.
You think it's just writing,
it'll be easy, exciting,
but you haven't a clue
just what you're inviting.
There's so much to do
it'll make you queasy,
there's a template to pick
(nothing too cheesy)
and links to click
to make browsing easy.
And as for the posts
well, where shall I start?
One a day at the most -
even that takes heart -
they say it's empirical
but really it's Art.
You'll be clever and lyrical
you'll provoke and foment
but it'll take a small miracle
to make someone comment
and he or she will turn out
to be a silly loud mouth
who'll rant and prattle,
who'll snigger and shout,
it's a regular battle
just not to burn out.
You think you'll be famous,
well-known, renowned,
but it'll take a shamus
to track you down
and as for impact
you'd better forget it
you'll make a wisecrack
and no one will get it,
your posts will be graphic,
your writing seraphic
but even after that
you won't get any traffic;
and you'll flirt and flatter,
be bullied and battered
and find in the end
it didn't really matter:
you're a plant in the lobby
an egg in the nog,
another warm body,
a machine bound cog,
so if you want a hobby
or just something to do
I suggest you jog
or collect a stamp or two
or dig in the bog
or whistle in the fog,
anything", said the Splog,
"but keeping a blog".

10 comments:

Revealed said...

you can't lose your temper
or quibble, or be rude,
can't whine, can't whimper,
can't boast, can't brood
can't prance or simper
or spew platitudes.


What???!!! Why didn't anyone tell me all of this before I started blogging, dash it!!!

Anonymous said...

ha ha...:)
- TMWWT

ggop said...

Awesome! I'm so looking forward to the rest.
gg

Cheshire Cat said...

Dr. Seuss does hip-hop?

hatshepsut said...

Dear plant in the lobby,
dear egg in the nog,
dear body (warm body),
dear machine-bound cog,
that reflexive ditty
was charming and witty.
But if you insist on such
self-characterization
so blankly bereft of
ego-inflation,
then here’s my post-script
to your diminutive shrift:
You’re most cultivated,
if indeed you’re a plant,
and a really good egg,
an intellectual savant.
“Thank you for obliging
my whimsical ask”,
said the Glug, as she reached
around for her hip-flask.

-hatshepsut (at work, so i really must go)

km said...

Neat-o.

Tabula Rasa said...

very nice, but you haven't made up any new creatures or words! (i agree with cheshire cat - it sounded quite like hip hop -- your recent cultural experiences are showing :-D)

Shripriya said...

I loved it. And I loved Hatshepsut's response too!

wiseling said...

haha... you are amazing.. that was great :)

Nocturne said...

*twitter*
alright, alright. hats off - finally - from shy but frequent lurker.