Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Other People

I think other people are overrated. I mean okay, so every now and then you'll have one of those moments when you're feeling insecure and you need to talk to someone to convince yourself that you're not THAT stupid. And it's always nice to be admired. And there's always sex. But even given all that, you have to think of the mind-blowing amounts of redundancy out there and think, couldn't God have done this more efficiently? Whatever happened to parsimony?

That, I think, is the biggest problem with this whole intelligent design thing. I mean, even counting just humans alone, we're talking six and half billion lines of genetic code to run one lousy program of a planet. And with more fixes, if the Bible is to be believed, than Windows. That's hardly state-of-the-art programming, is it?

Now a theory of unintelligent design, that I would buy. A theory that says: if there really were a ruthless and efficient process of evolution working to shape higher forms of life over millions of years, don't you think it would have come up with something better than Britney Spears or George W. Bush? It's obvious that there's some higher power up there that's systematically goofing up[1]. What was it Woody Allen said about God being an underachiever?

Meanwhile, of course, I'm stuck with other people. The trouble with these people is that they don't seem to understand that their only purpose is to slave away in mines and factories and call centres so that I can have a better life. They're not actually supposed to be sharing my daylight with me. Yet everywhere I look there they are - crowding up the parks, taking my seat on the bus or my table at the restaurant, slowing me down on the sidewalk or on the road. Worse, they BREED! The arrogance of it. Someone should take them aside and have a kindly word with them, explain to them how they're just ciphers in my existence. I would, except that I'm too modest and self-effacing. Besides, as Browning puts it:"Who'd stoop to blame / This sort of trifling?"

I blame the education system.

[1] To read more on this, see a story called The Janitor on Mars from Martin Amis' brilliant collection Heavy Water. He makes the point that humans have taken an insanely long time to evolve - our ape ancestors were still climbing down from trees when the Martians were already engaging in epic battles with distant star systems.


ozymandiaz said...

The truth of the matter is more relative to Buddhist vision of reality. Life, though, is not the conscience extension of the universe, but rather the conscience extension of entropy, the inevitable end of the universe. All life forms are detrimental to their environment if by no other means than by being apart of an ecosystem. Thusly, the redundancy is actually efficient. The more successful the organism, the more damage can be done to the fabric of the universe. If an organism is really successful, it can destroy whole planets and quite possibly, in time, the fabric of space time itself.

Cheshire Cat said...

Falstaff, I'm disappointed in you. By titling your post "Other People", you implicitly equate yourself to each and every one of the ragged horde. Fungible, fungible, lamentable...

Now if you'd only said "People", things would have been so different. For then I could have acknowledged you as one apart, one who looks askance... Not merely a god, for gods have their humble origins in the minds of men, but a superior being, mysterious, autonomous. And then it would be natural to demand of people that they resolve themselves into one or more of the following categories:
(1) Sycophants
(2) Sex slaves
(3) Blog commenters

Mrudula said...

There is a place for everything in this universe. My survival depends on the efficient incompetence of 'other people'. Moreover I live in India and can't complain about people crowding up parks.

Accidental Fame Junkie said...

I possibly am at the other end of the spectrum: the ones who think the world is for everybody. Looks like I'm the odd one out here!

I did, however, like the line, "I think other people are overrated."

Falstaff said...

Oz: Interesting. I'm not sure I understood all of that, but liked the bit about organisms destroying the fabric of space time. How do I get meself one of those? So far the most I've been able to do is destroy the fabric of my shirts in the laundry.

Cat: Good point (why, oh, why didn't I think of that?). I would apologise if I weren't perfect. Oh, and can we limit it to sex slaves only - I already have enough of the others.

Mru: Ah, but the whole point is that other people are inefficient at being incompetent - not only do they not add any value, it takes them ages to do it.

AFJ: Awwwww! How sweet! You're not going to start singing songs from Oklahoma are you? *look of sudden panic*

Accidental Fame Junkie said...

Falstaff, you are incorrigible! I'm in splits!! Song from "Oklahoma"!!! Indeed! *hearty laughter*

Incredibly, I agree with your latest post!

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