Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Just saw a news article on Yahoo! saying that Sinead O'Connor's come out with a new Reggae album. Yup, you heard me, a REGGAE album. Trying very hard to imagine what that will sound like. I mean the woman doesn't even have enough hair to put beads in. And reggae beats with uilleann pipes? What's the hit single going to be - "No woman, no rye"?

Apparently Ms. O'Connor sees it as an expression of her gratitude for "the teachings of Rastafari". You mean like wearing very loud shirts, never washing your hair and singing off-key in a high plaintive voice? Or saying 'mon' all the time? Or never quite managing to button your clothes all the way up?

In other news, did you know that Ms. O'Connor's last album was titled "She Who Dwells in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide Under the Shadow of the Almighty". Catchy title, honey. No wonder it sold all of six and a half copies (one of the CDs broke and the customer only returned half of it to claim her refund).


Anonymous said...

yup, wise guy. like she cares what you think. did you know that police was actually a well-disguised reggae band? oh well.....

what i find annoying about this post is the way you
1) stereotype a very diverse and productive genre of music
2) poke fun at someone about whose life and struggle you know very little.

i quote the news article :

"It is my way of expressing gratitude to the Rasta people, because I am one of those human beings who would not be alive today if it was not for the teachings of Rastafari," the Dublin-born singer said.

it is evident that o'connor's submission to the faith was an act of "final surrender". clearly you do not appreciate this, despite your impressive resume of knowledge gained from books and films, and despite your long intellectual outpourings on all manner of ethical and moral philosophy. shame on you.

meditativerose said...

Yes ... you finally have anonymous hate mail - the mark of true fame.

Now all you need is a stalker ..

Anonymous said...

meditativerose, dont confuse "hate" with "feedback", something that falstaff is self-confessedly seeking through his blog. got it? if you read any trace of hatred into my comment, then its your problem, not mine.

Falstaff said...

Dear Anonymous,

Forgive me! Your beautiful, cogent and inspiring words have finally shown me the light. I was blind but now can see. I shall go home this minute and burn all my Bach records in front of a sacrificial altar in the shape of Bob Marley's head. All hail the Rastafari! Death to those who speak grammatical English.

But wait, wait! This comment, a) stereotypes a very diverse and productive genre of music (which includes - hallelujah - the Police [gasp!]) and b) pokes fun at someone (you) whose life and struggles I know very little about. Oops! I did it again! (ah! Britney Spears - I suppose you'd object to me stereotyping her diverse and productive music and poking fun at her life and struggle as well?)

I think I'm beginning to enjoy this. Let's see what other diverse and productive genre can I stereotype - how about Boyzone? And think of all those people whose struggles I know nothing about. Jane Fonda. Deepak Chopra. Tom Cruise. A world of opportunity!

Or in other words:

Yup, wise guy, who cares what you think.

Anonymous said...

clearly you do. otherwise you would not have sprung to defend yourself so eagerly. you showed disrespect, and now you are hiding behind cheap sarcasm. your musical horizons need to be expanded, if
1) you are going to believe that listening to classical music puts you on some kind of aesthetic higher ground
2) your knowledge of reggae does not transcend bob marley
please, spare me the sarcastic crap. reserve that for your intellectual pals, when you are sipping a wine by the fireplace and debating with them the finer points of a bach fugue.

Heh Heh said...

Do not feed the Trolls.

Anonymous said...

thats right, HWSNBF, if someone doesnt agree with your point of view, dispense with the task of facing up to him by pulling out of your ready bag of tricks a handful of cliches. your comment has as much logic to it as the other HWSNBF who famously remarked "either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists".

Heh Heh said...

If you choose to be anonymous, I WILL designate you a troll.
Sorry for not being ooh-so-sensitive and not trying to understaaand your feelings.

Anonymous said...

right, and you are mr.....? and your parentage is ....? lets have all the details about your life, so that i may designate you something other than HWSNBF. by the way, that assumed name reeks of insecurity.

Falstaff said...

Meditative rose: See, you were wrong. That's what anonymous hate mail looks like. And I have four now! I feel so popular.

HWSNBF: do realise you're doing it too. Also, I couldn't resist, it was too much fun.

also, I think trolls is offensive - trolls are large-hearted and sombre creatures, even if they are a little slow. What you're thinking about is gnomes - whiny high pitched creatures that splutter in an extremely belligerent way when you accidentally step on them.

Anonymous said...

call me whatever what you will. your impressive vocabulary cannot, however, excuse you from your nonchalant attempts at hurling careless ridicule towards anything that does not catch your fancy. and next time, when you accidentally step on someone else, at least have the decency to apologize sincerely, rather than resort to a facade of caustic verbiage to defend yourself.

meditativerose said...

Hey, what's this ... I go off for a couple of meetings and you guys go ahead and have a party??

No no, you're right though, it's not hatred, just whininess.

Anon - since I have used a non-existent word like 'whininess' and have thus displayed my lack of an impressive vocabulary, hope you don't hate me as much.

Fireplace and wine sound interesting though - somehow I always pictured you getting sloshed on vodka in a dorm room ;)

Though I disagree with one thing - why step on someone annoying and belligerent accidentally, when you can do it on purpose?

Heh Heh said...

Yep. I got tempted too...
I sort of like this guy, actually. Unjustified ranting is a skill to be appreciated, and our gnome here seems to be quite accomplished in that regard.
Little does he realise that people around here take accusations of snobbery and elitism as compliments.

Falstaff said...

MR: Exactly. Have you ever done the thing where it's just rained and you put on your boots and go out and step on the worms? Such a wonderfully squishy, gooey sensation. Isn't there a C&H strip like that?

As for leaving you out - it's not our fault if you have real work to do and have something better to do with your time then post random comments on someone else's blog. Who asked you to go get a life?

Anonymous said...

meditativerose and hwsnbf, unhook yourselves. say what you will to justify your allegiance to him, but the fact is that falstaff took not one, but several cheap shots in his post. i called him out. the dialogue is between the two of us, i dont see why his fan following must bandy around him like they dont have minds of their own. also, hwsnbf, i found your remark about accusations of snobbery being a compliment quite amusing. if that is so, then i hope you will have the gratitude to thank me for calling you sophisticate snobs.

Falstaff said...

MR / HWSNBF: Did you hear that? You're now my fans! [snigger].

You're allowed one autograph a day and I shall expect you to be properly appreciative of my life and struggles, which you know so much about.

Heh Heh said...

Heh. Did you notice our gnome complimented me again in the last line of his comment?
Oh, joy! Thank you, thank you!

Anonymous said...

and as for you, falstaff - your post was nothing but a cheap shot. is that a mark of your so-called appreciation for the human condition, or is that something that springs into your consciousness only when you are reading poetry or watching a bergman film? how sophisticated.

Anonymous said...

hwsnbf, you are welcome. at least one of you has manners.

Anonymous said...

also, hwsnbf, it is amusing how you gave up so easily on your choice of classification, and jumped onto the gnome bandwagon as soon as your friend dropped another of his pearls. thanks for helping me make my case.

Falstaff said...

MR / HWSNBF: Guys, I hate to do this, but we're going to have to stop. The SPCAC (Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Anonymous Commentors) called. They say gnome baiting is a cruel and unusual sport and we have to give it up immediately. Apparently it's in the wildlife conservation bill or something.

anon: my last word on this - lighten up and learn to take a joke. At the rate you're going you'll give yourself an aneurism. And then who'll tell us how wonderfully sophisticated we all are?

Anonymous said...

thanks for your concern, but i can do without it. i have stood up to your fundae-spilling types on many occasions, so please, take your sympathy elsewhere.

TDREC said...

Falstaff: I like this anonymous poster. Several of the points are well-made (although she/he might be accused of belaboring some points)

Anonymous: Do you have similar strong views on hip-hop? I try talking to these opionionated snobs about the merits of this artform, but have failed to make headway. Tell em snobs about our homies in Compton.

MR and HWSNBF: I am trying to generate more entertainment from this debate.

TDREC: The other interesting question is the identity of this poster. Someone we know? This girl/guy is dropping all the right names - Bergman, Bach fugue, Rastafarianism.. And besides - "fundae-spilling"? That sounds like a well known technology institute's lingo to me.

Anonymous said...

tdrec, i strongly believe that the world of great music is infinitely large, but that our consciousness or our ability to sample it all and appreciate it, is only finite. so rather than build false boundaries around myself, and consign to the dustbin all the genres that my finite consciousness does not have the ability or the time to come to grips with, i preserve a healthy respect for it all. while i am not held in rapt attention by the music that britney spears produces, i strongly respect her right to produce it, because there are millions of people who connect with that music and find something in it worthwhile to their lives. music to me is a window into the soul, not something that one uses to keep score with, like falstaff has revealed himself to be doing. and i dont accept his argument that he was joking as a valid defense, because his manner of humour thinly veils a wider intolerance towards anything that _he_ does not get. yes, if death metal is inciting kids to violence, there is a moral case for condemning it, but otherwise, attacking this or that genre of music is like attacking a section of humanity itself. lofty ideals? anal about political correctness? you might think so. i dont. i have principles, and i would die for them. that said, i enjoy reading falstaff's blog and he does make insightful comments now and then. i do, however, preserve the right to dissent if i feel he is wrongfully casting aspersions to appear cool to his blind admirers. hip-hop? sure. its all good.

meditativerose said...


- Isn't it really dtrec?
- You've probably made headway in trying to talk, but not in making us listen (I couldn't know for sure of course)
- If you didn't misspell opinionated, you might have a better shot
- Are you really trying to generate more entertainment, or killing time till you can order dinner?

Heh Heh said...

Hey, there's nothing wrong with death metal as an artform! And if you think death metal arouses to kids to violence (as if they weren't thinking beings), what about gangsta hip hop? What about Rastafarian rituals where people sit around and smoke weed? That doesn't drive them to drugs??

The point is this, there can be no "moral" basis for judging an art-form. Approval or disapproval of an art form is an entirely personal issue. The fact that there might be millions out there who appreciate it is not only irrelevant, but one is also perfectly within rights to express a disapproval of those millions.

Secondly, if you have been following this blog, you might have realised that blogging is *not* about appearing cool to the audience. If you find a like-minded audience, fine. If you don't, it doesn't matter.

I appreciate the points you make, and the way you make them. But I do not relate to them at all. If you are really serious about the matter, and sincerely believe that people should not make fun of things/people/art they disapprove of, you are an advocate for a humourless world that I am not willing to be part of.

All said and done, I believe you are joking, and this whole tirade has been to provoke, generate debate and entertain, which is, in my mind, a very noble purpose.

Anonymous said...

ok, hwsnbf, now we are having a meaningful dialogue. let me respond to your comments in turn.

1. paras 1 and 2 : i strongly disagree with you. i believe that morals are absolute, that human life is precious, and any art form that preaches violence is morally reprehensible. and that goes for gangsta hip hop too. i agree that _appreciation_ of an art form is a personal issue, but that is totally not relevant to the discussion, because your ability to appreciate something does not carry with it the necessity to abuse everything that you do not appreciate. i didnt claim that falstaff must be bound to a chair, and fed a dose of reggae every day to atone for his post, but i did claim that poking malicious fun at some people just because you cannot relate to their music or style of life is immature and immoral. and your comment about drugs is disingenuous. it shows how little you know about the rasta culture, or even about drugs in general. it also shows how socially conditioned you are. i dont even know where to begin, so i'll let it pass.

2. para 3 : i beg to differ. blogging is not always about appearing cool to one's audience, but it very well can be and is sometimes. one thing falstaff did not mention in his long post on why people blog is the following : people blog because it makes them feel good. simple. all the justification about getting a chance to express themselves and sharing ideas etc. are just corollaries. and often, feeling good about oneself involves spilling one's guts and treading over other people's sentiments willy nilly. and that is wrong. at least in my book. so i called him out. you have a problem? too bad.

3. para 4 : your "if, then" premise is once again cute if anything. let me make a similar claim, to show you how inane it sounds : "If you are really serious about the matter, and sincerely believe that people should make fun of things/people/art they disapprove of, you are an advocate for a cynical and violent world that I am not willing to be part of."

4. last para : are _you_ joking? i certainly was not.

Falstaff said...

TDREC / DTREC: Wassup Dawg? (or Dogg or Douwg or Pdog or Dow3g or any other misspelt canine you'd like to be known as). Good to know that you're so against snobbery. Does this mean you might actually eat in restaurants that have neon signs and condescend to drink OJ that's not freshly squeezed.

Oh, also, wonderful to learn that you feel one shouldn't be closed to any form of music. Promise to bring along all my Bartok and Schoenberg CDs for our next road trip. :-).

HWSNBF / MR: Isn't it interesting how agreeing with anything I say makes you mindless? All this while you thought intelligence was about logic and analysis, when all you had to do was disagree with me. Sigh. All that wasted time.

ozymandiaz said...

Hey, if I don’t agree with anybody here does that make me a genius? I listen to classical, death metal, and reggae. You know what anonymous? Sinead O'Connor still sucks. No really. She is a whiney self righteous waste of air space. OK. OK. I’m just kidding. Trying to get your goat and all. She did have that one good song, you know, the one Prince (or the artist formerly known as Prince, or what ever the heck that has been is called now) wrote. Yea, that one was OK. And spare us your morals. There is no universal moral. If there was, what makes you think yours is the one? Oh, that’s right, because it is yours and you are compassionate and understanding and yada yada yada… Look at the world around you sir/madam. If there is a universal anything it is a universal amoral.

Anonymous said...

falstaff :
schoenberg!!! cor blimey, how _very_ avant-garde! i am impressed. pray tell us, what else do you have on your glittering cultural resume? why must i ruin myself listening to lynton kwesi johnson when i can be edified by some choice stockhausen recommendations from you? right? (sarcasm is a game that two can play, dear falstaff)

ozymandiaz :
once again, i disagree. if you have not found a universal moral, then its only evidence of your own moral ambivalence. in that respect you are in the august company of many poets, philosophers, and artists, so dont feel bad, ok? i dont look at the world around me for guidance. i look at the world inside of me. geddit?

meditativerose said...

umm ... if you look inside yourself for your morals, they're not universal, na?

HWSNBF, I think this might be my mom

Anonymous said...

mr, so much for your powers of logic and analysis. i am reminded of the tathagata's warning to siddhartha - "you are clever, o samana, you know how to speak cleverly, my friend. be on your guard against too much cleverness".....higher truths are indeed universal. if logic were an omnipotent sieve through which one could distill those truths, i would even give you a mathematical proof. sadly, it isnt (which is why ozymandiaz yada-yada'd over the best part ;0). if we all still our respective monkey minds, we can all get to the same place. we dont need nietzsche or schopenhauer or sartre , or picasso or braque or kandinsky, for crutches, i assure you. i burned my bridges with those theoreticians some time ago. wanna take this to your own ego-massaging patch on the www?

Anonymous said...

hwsnbf, i noticed that on your blog you have advertized this "flame war". pliz to confirm who threw the first flame, completely unprovoked, and just so he could get some quick laughs? i am just returning the favor. phew! fending off intellectual vultures is a tiresome occupation. but it must be done. now, i need some silence. but if i find these ugly scavengers feasting on the nameless and faceless again, i promise you, i'll be bach!!!! mwahahahaha

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