Thursday, February 07, 2008

The People You Meet in Heaven

Just reflecting on km's comment to this post, it occurs to me that maybe the reason there are so many engineers involved in terrorist attacks (assuming it's all the Will of God) is that Heaven is running short of virgins.

Imagine if all these people who go around martyring themselves were greeted in Paradise not by a flock of ravish-able houris, but by a gaggle of sex-starved engineers. Now that would be Divine Justice.

25 comments:

Confused n Baffled said...

oh bloody hell. this is outrageous.

Anonymous said...

Yeah what was that joke about the virgins in heaven being 40 year old sysadmins named Steve?

BTW km is right. EE engineers are God's gift to mankind :-)

Falstaff said...

c&b: Ya, totally. Don't let it get to you though. It's just my secret envy at not being an engineer coming out.

ggop: Interesting. Paradise as a bordello with angels serving up 40 year-old sysadmins. And I suppose if it turned out that the one you got wasn't a virgin you'd get a message saying 'Sysadmin Error. Please contact your server.'

km said...

"yeah, come on in Abdullah, we will show you a good time." *wiping the dust off the electrodes.*

//racist joke, I know.

///Paradise filled with a gaggle of sex-starved engineers? No way. Then it would be too much like any engineering school :)

////GGOP: Rock on, brother. EE till I die.

Falstaff said...

km: As the man says (almost), "Don't go mistaking Paradise / for that engineering school down the road"

I have no idea what EE stands for, but I'm all for infighting among engineers. It's all part of my divide and slide-rule policy.

Anonymous said...

It breaks my heart to do this to ggop and km, but the question is WWJD?

I think he'd go with Mech and not EE, don't you think?

And here's food for thought falsie, what would Ennis Del Mar do? He seems like a EE guy to me alright.

Unknown said...

BM: Who cares abt WWJD when we know what the big boss, J's dad, would do? Ever heard of "let there be light"? Or lightning while we are at it?

km said...

Veena: that show of solidarity with EE was *heart-warming* (I hope it was for EE, and not lighting technicians?)

Falstaff: EE = Electrical Engineers, aka, the *real* engineers.

Ahem. BM, your turn.

Tabula Rasa said...

nice thread. next post - the Immaculate Short-circuit.

i'm so full of good ideas today.

Anonymous said...

Well, well. God with the capital G) might be an EE engineer, but the pantheon of Hindu gods are definitely CS engineers.

Seriously, one is a creator, the other a destroyer and the third is into polymorphism... sigh, all the scriptures read just like good old CS books. And we haven't even gotten started on even virtualization or ether.


hmm, where does that put all the EE engineers masquerading as programmers - Trishanku swarga?

Falstaff said...

BM: You mean Ennis Del Mar is NOT Jesus? And nah, the man is too beautiful to be an engineer.

Also, much as I'd like to support your struggle against these uppity EE folk, I have to say I seriously doubt the Hindu Trinity are Engineers. Vishnu is clearly a drama major and Shiva with his penchant for organ transplants and general focus on anatomy is clearly pre-med. As for Brahma, anyone who sleeps for 311 Trillion Years and then spends another 311 Trillion randomly working on his Universe (without coming up with much to show for it) is clearly a PhD student.

veena: So you're saying God is an electrician?

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
km said...

blackmamba: "EE masquerading as programmers"?

*gasp*

I remember a time when EE students said that about CS students.

Anonymous said...

Falstaff, perhaps. But you forget they are Indian men, so obviously they got their engineering degrees before they went on to do whatever they were passionate about.

and what is this bias against beautiful men? engineering is all about equal opportunity...

Anonymous said...

km, ahem, that was a looooong time ago...

km said...

blackmamba: ha. ha. ha. CS students can write "hello world" in 4 languages, one of them being Pascal :D :D

Falstaff said...

BM: True. But if what they do has no correlation to what they're trained in, then they could just as easily be EE engineers as CS engineers, no? In fact, given how old these dudes are, I seriously doubt CS was even around when they went to Engineering School.

Anonymous said...

km - not to burst your bubble, but I'm a woman :-)

Anonymous said...

falstaff: The universe does not look like a transistor radio or a heat engine, now does it? Besides, why do you think Second Life is called Second Life?

km: There are 10 kinds of engineers in the world, those who can write Hello World in 100 languages and those who can't...

km said...

blackmamba: A binary joke! So even CS kids know some math :D

//sorry, Falstaff, but blackmamba and I have GOT to take this out on *your* blog.

///ggop: you forgot the secret EE code? 'Coz when I say "brother", I really mean "sister".

Tabula Rasa said...

EEs are gay?

Falstaff said...

BM: Well, if it comes to that the Universe doesn't look like it's managed by someone who knows what he / she is doing, either. In fact, the universe resembles nothing so much as an Electric House put together by a Botany major

km: No worries. I'm just waiting for the point when you finish debating who are the 'true' engineers and start arguing over which end of a boiled egg should be eaten first.

TR: The whole point of this post is that engineer sexuality is a bit like the tree falling in the forest.

Tabula Rasa said...

you mean hard ware going soft and surrounded by lots of bugs?

Falstaff said...

TR: :-). No, I mean it may exist, but given the absence of any external involvement it's hard to tell.

Kits said...

Funeee..feel like sending it to all the engineers at my workplace :D